The Assembly Plays Legislative Bingo
The last days of the Assembly session are filled with mischief and the passage of numerous bills with little or no debate.
Listeners and viewers of the proceedings in the lower house during those final hours might have been struck by a largish number of seeming non sequiturs punctuating the speeches made by Assembly members.
Not to worry. Their minds were not slipping — at least not any more than they already have.
Those zany, crazy Assembly cut-ups were just playing a little Legislative Bingo.
Rules are so simple even a state lawmaker can follow them: Insert an assigned word or phrase in a floor speech.
One of the more daunting assignments on August 30 was for Assemblywoman Linda Halderman, a Fresno physician, to use the names of all seven of Snow White’s dwarves in one speech, which she did rather artfully.
On August 31, the last day of session, Halderman began a floor speech on a bill relating to workers compensation benefits by asking a “rhetorical question of the universe: Has the Zombie Apocalypse started?”
This seemed an odd introduction to a measure dealing with issues like permanent partial disability, fraudulent claims and applicant attorneys.
Perhaps the phrase was Halderman’s August 31 Legislative Bingo challenge. If it was, she refused to either confirm or deny it.
The bingo list from Thursday, August 30 follows:
Achadjian – Chucky ducky
Alejo – You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry
Ammiano – Two and a half men
Atkins – Here comes honey boo boo
Beall – Teenage dream
Berryhill – Ranchtastic
Blumenfield – Cash in the trash
Bonilla – Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Bradford – Pimpin ain’t easy
Butler – Coconut long boys
Cedillo – We don’t need no stinking badges
Chesbro – Why so serious?
Conway – Kiss my grits
Cook – I love the smell of napalm in the morning
Donnelly – Not at the table, Carlos
Fletcher – Bromance
Fong – Welcome to the jungle
Fuentes – These pretzels are making me thirsty
Gaines – Black water
Galgiani – Show me the money
me at hello
Hueso – Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful
Huffman – Oops I did it again
Jones – Drunk uncle
Knight – Milk was a bad choice
Lara – Bieber fever
Lowenthal – I pity the fool
Ma – Honey badger don’t care
Mansoor – Mouthbreathers
Mitchell – No soup for you
Monning – Keeping up with the Kardashians
Nielsen – Skin that smokewagon
Norby – Techno twins
Olsen – Stay golden, Ponyboy
Pan – Call me maybe
Speaker – Nathan’s hot dog
Skinner – Say hello to my little friend
Smyth – I got 99 problems but this bill ain’t one
Swanson – Furry tractor
Wagner – Mister Softee
Wieckowski – The tribe has spoken
Williams – Hello, Newman
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