The Assembly Plays Legislative Bingo

The last days of the Assembly session are filled with mischief and the passage of numerous bills with little or no debate.

Listeners and viewers of the proceedings in the lower house during those final hours might have been struck by a largish number of seeming non sequiturs punctuating the speeches made by Assembly members.

Not to worry. Their minds were not slipping — at least not any more than they already have. 

 Those zany, crazy Assembly cut-ups were just playing a little Legislative Bingo.

Rules are so simple even a state lawmaker can follow them: Insert an assigned word or phrase in a floor speech.

One of the more daunting assignments on August 30 was for Assemblywoman Linda Halderman, a Fresno physician, to use the names of all seven of Snow White’s dwarves in one speech, which she did rather artfully.

On August 31, the last day of session, Halderman began a floor speech on a bill relating to workers compensation benefits by asking a “rhetorical question of the universe: Has the Zombie Apocalypse started?”

This seemed an odd introduction to a measure dealing with issues like permanent partial disability, fraudulent claims and applicant attorneys.

Perhaps the phrase was Halderman’s August 31 Legislative Bingo challenge. If it was, she refused to either confirm or deny it.

 

The bingo list from Thursday, August 30 follows: 

Achadjian – Chucky ducky

Alejo – You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

Ammiano – Two and a half men

Atkins – Here comes honey boo boo

Beall – Teenage dream

Berryhill – Ranchtastic

Blumenfield – Cash in the trash

Bonilla – Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

Bradford – Pimpin ain’t easy

Butler – Coconut long boys

Cedillo – We don’t need no stinking badges

Chesbro – Why so serious?

Conway – Kiss my grits

Cook – I love the smell of napalm in the morning

Donnelly – Not at the table, Carlos

Fletcher – Bromance

Fong – Welcome to the jungle

Fuentes – These pretzels are making me thirsty

Gaines – Black water

Galgiani – Show me the money

  me at hello

Hueso – Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful

Huffman – Oops I did it again

Jones – Drunk uncle

Knight – Milk was a bad choice

Lara – Bieber fever

Lowenthal – I pity the fool

Ma – Honey badger don’t care

Mansoor – Mouthbreathers

Mitchell – No soup for you

Monning – Keeping up with the Kardashians

Nielsen – Skin that smokewagon

Norby – Techno twins

Olsen – Stay golden, Ponyboy

Pan – Call me maybe

Speaker – Nathan’s hot dog

Skinner – Say hello to my little friend

Smyth – I got 99 problems but this bill ain’t one

Swanson – Furry tractor

Wagner – Mister Softee

Wieckowski – The tribe has spoken

Williams – Hello, Newman

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