Syntactically Odd, Tortuously Phrased Fundraising Solicitation

RealNorma(Editor’s Note: Norma Torres, a Pomona Democrat, was elected in 2008. In the offending sentence, the simple edit of striking “for the” and inserting ” after my” before “re-election” then striking “of my” and replacing it with “to a” would resolve much of the ambiguity. The inclusion of “2010” somewhere near “re-election” would also increase clarity. The phrase “in support of my re-election” at the conclusion of the sentence is implicit — therefore redundant — and should be excised. Everything is fairly clear on the actual fundraising solicitation, however. For bargain hunters, $3,900 seems  a small price to pay to be Torres’ “best friend forever.” But there are some nagging questions. Does a $2,500 investment mean the giver is only her “best friend” temporarily? If so, are donors able to pick the times during the legislative session when Torres is their “best friend” or does she decide? And what do the $1,000 “friends” get? A phone call once in a blue moon? A holiday card and an e-mail on their birthday? An occasional invitation to lunch? Or is the relationship something deeper and more fulfilling? Further clarification is required.)Norma

Filed under: Fundraising


  1. This might be a case where folks have wondered if the creation of safe districts produced the best and brightest from an area having all doubt removed.

    Comment by Managementslug — 1.21.2011 @ 3:24 pm

  2. No doubt about it, the best and brightest need a refresher course in basic language skills. Bets that she blames it on a staffer?

    Comment by PasadenaVoter — 1.22.2011 @ 1:49 pm

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