From the GOP Mailbag: A Massive Missive by Michael Steele

Michael Steele, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, wrote recently. The letter says it was penned “Monday Morning.” In America,  presumably.

Mr. Steele says he is writing because “you and everyone of the more than 60 million voters all across our country who did not vote for Barack Obama deserve to have a voice in the way this country is governed.” (Emphasis courtesy of Mr. Steele)

To that end, he has enclosed a 2010 Obama Agenda Survey. It is REGISTERED and affixed with a tracking code. (His emphasis once again) It’s an “important, touchstone” survey, Mr. Steele says. “So, please, no matter what, do not discard or destroy your Survey.”

Mr. Steele says the “liberal media elites and the Obama Democrats” hope readers will “put his letter down right now and do nothing.”

Well, gosh darn it, Mike, if that’s true then I’m ploughing straight on through to the very end!

The Republican Party is not dead and we’re not going away.” (Again, Mike’s emphasis. We’ve been together six paragraphs so Mr. Steele seems awfully formal at this point.)

Republicans have a “strong minority” in Congress and most Americans don’t know much about the “Obama agenda” because of the “non-stop, swooning coverage of the ultra-biased media.”

It only took eight paragraphs to go from liberal elites to ultra-biased swooners. That’s progress.

The important, touchstone, REGISTERED, tracking code affixed 2010 Obama Agenda Survey will be “solid proof” that “regardless of what the left-wing media is saying” – only three grafs this time to morph to left-wing – “there is not overwhelming support for many of the radical proposals being put forward by Obama and the Democrats.”

Mike says that he and I know “Obama and the Democrats ran away from their own liberal agenda during the 2008 election – Obscuring their plans for massive tax increases and the largest, most expensive expansion of our federal government in history.”

Mike says those sucky Democrats “have nowhere to hide now.”

But, uh-oh, major bummer, brethren and cisterns: “One thing Obama and the Democrats have is lots of money.” Congressional Democrats have out-raised Republicans 2 to 1, Mike says.

That’s why, along with the completed important, touchstone REGISTERED, tracking code affixed 2010 Obama Agenda Survey, a check for $500, $250, $100, $50 “or even $30” should be enclosed in the postage-paid envelope provided.

Send that check today, Mike says, or the “Obama Democrats will dig in, using their massive fundraising network to mount an all-out propaganda campaign to obscure their actions in Washington and hide the fact that their agenda is dictated by, and benefits, the special interests that bankroll their election campaigns.”

(Editor’s Note: As opposed to the GOP agenda, which is dictated by – and benefits – the special interests that bankroll their election campaigns.)

Armed with a $500, $250, $100, $50 or even $30 check – Mike asks three more times on Page 4 in case readers missed the first solicitation way back on Page 3  – the Republican Party will “get back to basics, rebuild from the grassroots up, and come back with renewed energy and a strong commitment to the conservative principles of low taxes, small government, personal responsibility and a strong national defense.”

Thanks for writing, Mike.

Let’s now sharpen our Number Two pencils and take a few minutes to complete the important, touchstone REGISTERED, tracking code affixed 2010 Obama Agenda Survey.




Filed under: Venting

1 Comment »

  1. Me and Ma just received our invitation from Mr. Steele. He seems like a real nice fellow and doesn’t really have an accent. Well, let me tell you that after reading those questions and marking our answers, we donated the last of our food money and even some of baby Nell’s allowance for next week to the Republicans. I’m with them all the way. By the way Greg, I’m somewhat concerned about our chances to replace Arnie. I’m not sold on the insurance guy and that woman that looks like Deputy Dawg doesn’t do it for me either. Keep up the good work and sorry about you getting kicked off the remap team.

    Comment by Irv from Rio Linda — 2.07.2010 @ 9:43 am

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment